Help a Friend

How to help:

If your friend has experienced a sexual assault, he or she may have these “red flag” indicators:

If your friend has been sexually assaulted, here are some ways you can help and support them:

Listen
Believe her or him
Be supportive
Reassure your loved one it was not their fault
Let the victim know you are there for them when they are ready to talk
Help the victim receive medical attention--some emergency departments have specialized programs for collecting sexual assault forensic evidence--if he/she does not want to report, he/she may prefer to go to a clinic or their primary care physician--call MOCSA for names of recommended physicians
Stay calm--you'll be more helpful if you stay in control of your own emotions
Suggest that the victim talks with someone trained to help victims of sexual assault
Be gentle and sensitive
Don’t make decisions for the victim--even if the victim is under 18, allow them to be part of the decision making process
Don't blame the victim for the assault--the blame always lies with the offender
Don't pressure the victim to talk--give them the chance to talk about their emotions and reactions when they choose
Don't tell the victim what he or she must or must not do--it is up to the victim whom to tell and whom not to tell

When Helping a Survivor of Sexual Assault/Abuse, Remember to Take Care of Yourself Too:

Here are some feelings you may be experience, and ways you can help yourself:

Talk with people you can trust. You too need support from others.
If you are male and the survivor is female, do not take personally any hatred she feels towards men. Her anger with the perpetrator and may generalize into a temporary anger toward all men.
Talk to a counselor or call a rape crisis hotline. It is hard to witness someone in emotional pain. Take care of yourself as you help the survivor.
Educate yourself about rape and rape prevention.
Moderate your stress levels through activities with other friends and/or through &quotalone time."
Do not expect to be able to make the survivor feel better all of the time.
Do not blame the survivor. Even when you feel poor judgments were made by the survivor, no one deserves to be sexually assaulted or abused.
Do not blame yourself. The only person who is at fault is the person who committed the crime.

Here are some helpful numbers: